Bacon Bro

Tonight, I literally ate bacon in bed.
I tried to watch Skins, but began to feel that watching prepubescent british blokes wanking off wasn't how baby Jesus wanted me to spend my evening. Not really, I just finished all of Weeds and everything pales in comparison. Those people are stage actors, yo!

I'm beginning to feel this weird longing for a sense of direction coupled with a general complacency for where I am. The thought of graduating college soon is scaring me shit-less and the prospect of starting grown-up-wear -sweater-vests and swirl-your-wine college is also freaking me out.

I just want to know when I should get my career as professional food critic, super model, and kitten snuggler under way? Do I really need several degrees to accomplish these tasks?

Speaking of accomplishing tasks...I can't decide if I am putting forth as much effort as I think to meet a dude or if I am just lazy and complainish when it all doesn't fall into my lap. Perhaps I have secretly resigned to this place not EVER having what I want. If only I was looking for misogynist red-necks; there's a whole house of them next door that bark at me on my way in!


Maybe one day I'll join in on the drunken volleyball matches and we'll all bump chests and sing along to the Baha Men. That would just be brolific!

photo: beach volleyball database

I always dream of cleaning the world for you.

I haven't read Thanks and Have Fun Running the Country: Kid's letters to President Obama but I've found some excerpts online and it looks fantastic. Bill Cosby and I have more in common than liking over-sized sweaters and foods you don't have to chew; I too love quippy children. Below is my favorite excerpt so far.

Dear President Obama,

I know you want to save the Earth, but people don’t want to clean. My life is to clean up all the world and help you to clean. I always dream of cleaning the world for you. I’ll do anything for you because you are the president in this world.

Stephanie Gonzalez, age 7, Los Angeles

photo via: 826national.org

excerpt via: schoollibraryjournal.com

Caliente!

I had my first date in a long time this past weekend.

Apparently there are certain sexual practices I wasn't aware of.

When my prompted date divulged what he was "in to" (literally), I dropped my jaw into my indian style legs and shrieked "WHAT?"

I'm sure that really made him want to divulge more of his deep, dark, secrets with me.

Let's just say, this guy should never buy his date mexican before performing his act of choice.

It always feels good to find out you're a prude.

Ei Carumba!


image: Tom Ford Eyewear Fall '08
via: fabsugar.com

Friday's Inspirations

I have never needed a weekend break more than I do this week! The sun is finally out and I've got a date tonight.

Here are Friday's Inspirations:

Prada pumps for a red&black themed dance party tonight, sea foam-green jordan almonds (my only source of protein), the sexiest person on the planet, Chloe Sevigny for Opening Ceremony, the only upside to 20 years of nerd-ery, one of the Murakamis I love (see Haruki), sweet carbonated bliss!

Shame, shame.

Some sweaty, rotund man, with a scab on his forehead just walked into the office and thumbed through my Moleskine planner, huffing:
"Lemme see, Ah gawt wun jus lahk that...Oh, I thot it wus a Kang James Bahble."

LITTLE DID YOU KNOW IT'S MY DEBAUCHEROUS BOOK OF BLASPHEMY!

Turned right to the date on which I've agreed to have mojitos and gratuitous sex with the devil.

Petit Confections

I can't begin to explain what decadence this weekend was!

The whole thing was incredibly Dionysian.

Some highlights include: homemade zucchini fritters, hot tubbing, fresh blueberry doughnuts at midnight, jordan almonds and quirky Coppola's "Dracula", going for mexican and becoming engulfed in drunken sorority hilarity!

I love my friends, old and new.

My plants may be choking their last breaths but something else is blossoming this fall...

Photo via: Serious Eats New York

This is exactly what friday feels like.

Watch this whole video to get in the mood for the weekend.

I think I know what I'll be doing in my living room....

Found via: the fifth day of may

The Wolf

I wrote a song really quickly last night and I'm really proud of it. It's so exciting to feel your own music mature. Maybe one day I'll record properly and put my tunes on here? Oui!

Today I spotted a "Keystone Light" can in the trash at work. I work in a University Library, mind you. Lovely, no? Any answer I can think of is relatively hilarious and I don't want to ask for fear of a response marginally less exciting than I'm conjuring.

My mom and I are in that place where we miss eachother alot and just want to play and do girly things. We both get like that when we have down time. I am looking forward to moving post university but it crushes me to think about being too far. I suppose nice stationary and more care packages would be in order.

Speaking of care packages, I kind of hinted at how much I want the Woody Allen Box Set #1. She hinted at buying it for me, probably so we could watch it ALL together and fulfill girl time.

Really want to swim around on the bottom of a pool right now. I could use some surreal.

Thinking really hard about Eugene Lang College in NYC for grad school...

Lazy Sunday

I may have fallen in love last night. Really.

Also this: Lasso Raus

Head Stands

I have been feeling incredibly coy lately. I just want to play pranks. This is very out of character, as I rarely want to interact with other humans, let alone share a chuckle with them! But I have found myself reaching for the light switch in the Math lab bathrooms more than once the last couple days, waiting for all the disgruntled women to continue their airy farts in the dark. How funny!

I carried around a zucchini the size of a toddler yesterday, which might have heightened my excitement. I could have put it in my bag but I made the excuse that all of my pens would nip it and things would generally be unruly. I wanted to be the girl weilding the baby size vegetable, bopping about campus. Boy did I do it!

I think I might need a boyfriend, as most of my best friends have them, thus I cannot call them at all hours of the day, to entice them with things like a "Yogurt Party!" as a way to clean out my fridge before it smells like the dead people in there have progressed even further with their decay.

I have taken to standing on my head lately, with my knees resting on my elbows. I've gotten quite good at it, and it takes up a considerable amount of my time allotted to "boredom" what with the lag time of waiting to feel my face again once I resurface. It's really quite a rush. Just like all the people in the cities, getting their rocks off in the middle of their living room floor. Aren't we frivolous?!

"I wouldn't want to be a part of any club that would have me for a member."

I'm dreaming more and more about New York, lately. Friends from NYU coming in to town to visit, watching Woody Allen movies like it's my job, finding more and more designers to die for from the big apple. I think alot of the allure is that I could be alone there without ever feeling alone. Oh and the kind of smug, aloofness that I attribute to the city especially. The West Coast is great but the snobbery just doesn't ring as hard. They're forgiving. They rollerblade for godsake. I've always had a penchant for holier-than-thou attitudes. Blame the mother.

I realize I sound incredibly ignorant when pinning those sole characteristics to NYC but, I'm no dummy, I realize there's more. The never ending art scene. The audacity of fashion. The scholarly attitude. The grit. The rock and roll. The cafes.

Now the kicker. The last time I was there I was 2 years old! Unless peeing on your way to Canada counts. Yeah. So what do I know, right?

Disclaimer: I love the West Coast; I'm leaving for it in a week and will probably spend several years there post college. Just proving a point, kiddies.

At night

Sometimes, late at night, I want to call people so bad I can't stand it. But not the people that want me to call them, the ones that leave desperate messages saying "I guess you dropped your phone in the toliet again" or "I was just driving and thinking of you". I want to call the people that explicitly told me to never call again. The people that cried in my arms when I said "This is the last time I'll see you, you're a sinking ship!" or the people that said "Don't you ever come crawling back to this carpet again." I want to call those people and roll around in their shock, wrapping myself in the phone cord, on the basement floor.

>


Ahh the last day of school! I'm sitting in the office grumbling under my giant sea-foam scarf that I've cocooned in partially because I think my eyeballs might fall out and partially because I don't have the office to myself like most fridays.

The thing I love about being alone is not so much doing things that I can't do when others are around but knowing that I can. There's something so refreshing in picking up NO interferences from the outside world.

Last night I put on a really comfy but fashionable outfit and got some apricot green tea in preparation to post up in the magazine room on campus for a couple hours. It didn't cross my mind that there would be hords of people and their Macs click-clacking away, the night before the last day of finals. Le bummer. I felt intruded upon as I usually have the little world to myself.

Decided on an apartment finally. So now I have to start paying out the wazoo. Haven't formally made an offer to the landlord yet but will do so today. I'm really excited but it still seems so far away as I don't get to move in until the end of August.

I'm pretty sure the walls are tan but painting is allowed so I'm thinking I'll just do a really crisp white. I'm loving the idea of pops of color on a white canvas. Oh but my head is everywhere. Who KNOWS what will happen.

Inspiration:

1. Romper from Anthropologie
2. Miss Fishy Journal Papaya!
3. David Alhadeff via Design*Sponge
4. Angela Liguori via Design*Sponge
5.Flowering tea I brought mine back from China but you can find it in the web

Accoutrements is the best word ever.

I realized that last post was kind of creepy and not at all fashiony although Asbestos on some sort of greenish blue chunk of insulation is very post-modern art exhibit. Oh fun! And all of the patrons would have to wear masks! Tres chic. One more reason I belong in New York. In Kentucky they would call the National Guard and hit me on the calves with switches. I realize I shouldn't talk shit about KY because alot of people love it, including my friends, and heritage and roots and horses and what-not. *Any one objecting can take their Louisvlle Sluggar and shove it.

In two hours I will be touring my prospective abode. I'm dragging Claire along as she is the bestie with design capabilities dripping out her nose. She is also equally persnickity and understands my weird obession with living alone so she will be a perfect confidant in this endeavor. I'm not expecting the place to be delectable. I'm going to try really hard to go in there with the vision of it is a blank canvas and work from there. As long at there's good light and its not falling apart, I'm sold. The idea of living alone with an extra room for design studio/knick nacks/baskets of kittens is just about enough.

I just want a place with mis-matching china and coffee smells and wispy fabrics and image boards and big sketches that I buy off my stupidly talented friends. Oh and fresh vegetables with weird names. And a handsome boy in a panama hat. Oh...ummmm?

The above image from Lobster and Swan is pretty much what I expect my life to look like. Some how I stumbled upon her blog a while back and I check it every day like a the days I used to check face-book to check for pokes. Seriously. I've newly ventured into the blog world and I am already OBSESSED with the whole realm.

Rubber Walls

Everyone in my office is really sleepy today. "Maybe there's something in the air. Like..." "ASBESTOS!" I yelled. **silence, gentle snort**

You see there's something absurdly attractive about conspiracy theories to me. And working in a cubicle-esque fortress of file cabinets and badly veneered office structures only lends to the idea that Mr.Man is out to get you. Couple this with the fact that said office is that of a big southerny university with all kinds of glistening administrative red-tape and you've got yourself a class A nutcase.

I jump at every chance to point out the lingering asbestos planted and/or ignored in a malicious ploy to kill off capricious office rebels that sometime come to work smelling like armpits or wearing little boy's plaid shirts from GoodWill that seemed to cover the bellybutton at the time.

Maybe I choose Asbestos because they're so damned vintage.

Yes, that's it.

Are you gassing me?

Linda, my work-mama and one of the loveliest women on the planet just leaned over me, kissed me on the noggin and whispered

"Where else would you work where they love you this much?" With a mouthful of delicious left over spinach, mushroom, and feta calzone from another beloved co-worker I globbled (faux verbs are the best verbs!) " I KNOoOow!"

I had always envisioned being a barista, the word just sounds glamorous. I figured I'd meet my choppy haired musician boyfriend while serving him a soy latte and we'd trapse around the world incredibly altering people's lives. But I work in the groundfloor of a library reading blogs, sometimes making copies, and creating cute little color schemes for bulletin boards. And they pay me to do it! After almost five months of working here, I can't imagine somewhere I'd rather be. And hey, I'm almost a librarian right? Here I am Jim James...

Apartment shopping is incredibly stressful and I haven't actually, physically, gone to look at any yet. Just ads online and what not. Hopefully today I can drag my buddy J.P. around town and seek out a delicious studio or bungalow that I can secure but not start living in/paying for until late August. Yeah...I know.

Looking for something sunny and spacious and gorgeous. Doubt thats what I'll find with all of my stipulations in towe...but I'm willing to compromise and do alot of sprucing up! Now to figure out how to cajole a certain ex-boyfriend into giving me the vintage dancing Shiva drinking glasses I bought us....hmmm...

Read about this new Prada addition at Nylon. I can't bring myself to really enjoy any of the classic Chanel fragrances. Believe me, I want to like them, but they always smell, well, stuffy! Maybe Prada will be a little different and I no longer have to threaten my haute sensibilities.

Also, I am officially hopelessly in love with Raphael Haroche. I stumbled upon him on someone else's blog (don't remember who) and I can't stop watching the "Caravane" video. I don't even need to know what he's saying, this music just makes me feel so feminine and mystic and flowery and voyeuristic and mmmmmmmm!

<

This morning I woke up cheerfully as I dreamt that I fell in love during a tornado.

Then I made my morning coffee and as I was leaning over the sink to put on my make-up, what did I notice?

A tiny heart-shaped island of coffee grounds, floating in my mug! They disbanded before I could get a photo but still...

What a splendid omen of things to come!

And alas, all the meterology kids in the Environmental building were nearly pissing themselves with excitement over a tornado. Sadly, the thing is disbanding into two big storms and my fellow Geography nerds won't get to watch any cows fly across the Kentucky hills.

Going to Hanover for a music festival.

Hookah, Bob Dylan lecture....Love interest?

We shall see!

Speaking of love...

Rapheal Haroche: Musician, poet, french, bohemian, boyish, strung-out, BEAUTIFUL.

Buffalo Sauce Tastes Good on Everything

Made a bold move and decided to brave the rain in a white skirt sans umbrella. Realized, later, that the umbrella was in my bag, where it always is. Ei! Anyhow, its a great excuse for me to run around the office barefoot as my shoes are completely soaked!

Oh how I love Fridays at work: No one is here, there are chocolate and bluberry doughnuts, and I can blog surf all day long. I might even get some homework done and feel really good about myself!

Rebecca Wood, of R.Wood studios, featured on Design Sponge has created the home that I would like to spend this blustery weekend in.

Add this book collection from Xenia Taler's home and these books/mag:

A couple of these films:

And some tomato basil soup (The wonders of which were delicately featured in a past edition of Dallas Times. Ahhh journalistic freedom never ceases to impress:

Some comfy sweat pants ought to do the trick! I won't even begin to delve into all the bad things I've eaten the last two days but I might direct you to the title of today's blog...

Treats

I've been blog-drooling for the past couple weeks at work so as not to do any more online shopping damage. I'm finding myself incredibly excited about moving in to my new and absolutely tiny troll apartment with Gabrielle. She's already cozily nestled into the place so I will only impose so much of my decor on the woman. She's decidedly not as sparkly or flowery for that matter but she appreciates my sillyness and I think I will be able to inch it in more and more.

I do know, however, that she too has a passion for treats! I thought I'd find some images of foods we'll have to make once the bluegrass heat dies down (no air conditioner as of yet!). And a couple images of interiors that are quite inspiring.

The glowey baubles collect solar power throughout the day and emit it milkily over your cocktail party by night! This is a great find as I adore lanterns and stringy lights but can't get past the superfluous energy use. You can find them Here at Birdsall and Company.

The home interior is featured currently in the Home Tour section of Martha Stewart.com. See the rest of sculptor Elena Columbo's dream Here.

Now the best part! Treats! The green beauties are Adzuki Bean Paste filled Chocolate Cupcakes with Matcha Green Tea frosting! I love red bean paste desserts and green tea icecream is always welcome. What an intruiging combo curtesy of Cupcake Bakeshop by Chockylit. The other yummy is Honey Lavender icecream from The Bites Site. I was unaware that such a thing existed until culinary princess Katie Sasse let me try some of her delectable homemade pistachio icecream and informed me of plans to make this featured treat. It's been about a year but I'm still drooling.

Like the thoughtful new bride, I don't want to yet impose flower garlands and poppy prints on Gabby, even though I know she delights in them too (maybe just doesn't want to be smothered by them...). I figure we'll start out dreaming of the treats we'll make together. It's great having her because no boyfriend would put up with my obsession with all things girlie. If I, magically, find one that tickles my fancy, we better hope he's not allergic to flowers!

Plants make everything better.

Having an extremely surreal moment at work right now: A Vietnamese soldier and the U.S. soldier that shot him down are having a luncheon today and planting a "friendship tree". The Leadership Center is hosting them so I'm trying to hide at my desk as the hullabaloo begins. Eric pointed out that the whole thing sounds like a Kurt Vonnegut novel. I'm supposed to be writing a Bukowski book review right now and I can't help but think of him either.


What an incredible thing. I still have trouble forgiving a silly ex-boyfriend for getting a new girlfriend and these dudes want to hold their own arbor day because one of them blew the shit out of the other? What a crazy world.



It's another gloomy day and I just want to nap in this:

Diane von Furstenberg Spring '09

Photo: fashionbybowie.blogspot.com